The Heart Helper is not only a self-care subscription box, but we are also an overall caring brand striving to aid all in reaching their holistic heights by managing the mind, strengthening the spirit, and honoring the heart. We recently reached out to our followers to inquire if anyone needed advice and most of the questions we received were regarding relationships. Many of our followers stated that their relationships were going through turmoil and that is normal and expected.
Relationships whether romantic, platonic, or professional are inevitable. What is evitable, is how long you stay in the relationship, how you will be treated in the relationship, and who you choose to be in these relationships with. The reality of relationships is that they are a part of life, and you can’t run from them. You must learn how to be in them, initiate them and most importantly, sustain them.
This post is not for individuals that are in relationships that they need, but more so for people in relationships that they want. This post is also not for people that are in relationships that “complete” them but for people that are in relationships that complement them. If you are the latter, self-love and self-realization is needed first because you cannot build a house on a broken foundation. You must first have rich soil if you want anything to grow. True relationships are not bought, they are built.
Below you will find the keys to a successful relationship whether romantic, platonic, or professional:
Communication
Communication is key! Often said, but never demonstrated. Communicating with the person you are in a relationship with is very important because none of us are mind readers, but we can become good listeners and then take action. If your counterpart does not know what is on your mind, they will never know what is disrupting the peace in your heart.
Vulnerability
Whew! In all honesty, I struggle with vulnerability. Coming from a Jamaican household, we were always taught to keep our feelings to ourselves because people could use them against you. I took that word of advice to heart but as I matured, I realized no relationship could thrive where vulnerability was lacking. Vulnerability creates connection and relationships are defined by connection. If you are closed off, doors will not open.
People cannot understand something they do not know (food for thought).
Acceptance
Everyone is different and you can try, but a box is never going to fit into a circle. Understand and accept the differences between all people, that is what makes us beautiful. We often try to paint people how we want them to look, instead of appreciating the art that they already are.
Many are quick to leave relationships because they believe there is a perfect person out there and sadly, the person with this perspective is mistaken. No one is perfect, not even you love. If you are constantly in search of Mr. or Ms. Perfect, you will often overlook someone that is right for you.
Accepting people for who and what they are makes them feel seen and safe. Honor people by giving them that acceptance and you will receive the same.
Individuality
Often, many people get in relationships and lose themselves. They stop doing the things they once enjoyed because their life becomes dependent on someone else. I demonstrated this behavior in the past and whew, I only disappointed myself by doing so. I must say, if you give someone your star, will eventually lose your light. If you give someone else the responsibility of making you happy, the relationship is on the fast track towards failure. You are responsible for your own happiness. The person you are in a relationship with should only add to it.
When you lack individuality, you will likely suffocate the person you are in a relationship with because you are only focused on them and not on you. Live your life but include people in it. Allow people to share your world instead of pressuring them to create it.
Compromise
Being in a relationship is like being on a team. If you lack the balance between having the “we” and only care about the “I”, you and your counterpart will never win the game. No team can be successful if there is only one star player, all players must work together for a common goal. Sometimes you will have to let your partner have the ball even if you think you have the winning shot. If you don’t, they will likely want to be traded to a new team that does. Compromise demonstrates a healthy balance between individuality and inclusion.
In summary, relationships are not easy, but the connection that is created in a healthy relationship is worth the work and the wait. If you value your relationship, put in the effort to make it eternal.
Make it deeper, the conversations and the connection.
Love immensely, passionately, and purposefully.